Daggers in the Dark – by the New Britannia Theater Troupe

[Jack T. Lamplighter 15]

The New Brittania Theatre Troupe presents DAGGERS IN THE DARK Director and Producer: Asclepius Writer: Gabriel Nightshadow with additional music lyrics by Jakdaw Foxlauden Music Composer and Director of Public Relations: Amber Raine Technical Consultant: Stile Teckel CAST Asclepius as Vallas Tellen Elgarion as Tarin Merrywhistle Sol Stormlin as Aimend Addy as Melody Stryker Sparhawk as Ertai Vodalion Cordelayne Valkaris as Astor Cerberus Woftam as Keldon Lighthand Vallin Tregres as Budner Stile Teckel as Frederick Tareti With Amber Raine as Chastity and Herself Alleine DragonFyre as the Narrator And Celith Wraine as Cyrus (Asclepius exits stage center) ***********************************************************************************

SCENE I (Keldon, Budner, Chastity and Cyrus enter from stage center) (Keldon is at stage center standing on top of the table, holding an ornate beer stein in one hand and SINGING. Budner, Chastity, and Cyrus are seated behind the table. Cyrus is DRINKING a mug of ale. The Narrator is standing on the balcony.) NARRATOR As I peer into the scrying pool, I see that dusk has fallen on the Bear Tavern. The Bears’ Fifth Anniversary Party is in full swing and everyone is having a good time, thanks to Keldon… CHASTITY (screaming hysterically) Take it off! Take it off! (KELDON removes his shirt and continues SINGING bare-chested). NARRATOR Keldon throws his shirt to Chastity, who catches it. She inhales deeply. (Chastity SQUEALS in delight.) (Chastity PLAYS DEAD.) CYRUS (grumbling) I miss those lovely dancing girls who used to perform here. Ugh…this Fire Mountain ale tastes kind of strange. Hey…why is it suddenly turning pink? BUDNER Ah…my good friends, Fred and Harry, our new head brewers, were kind enough to prepare a special batch of their “Pink Paradise on Fire Mountain” Ale for today’s event. Our patrons seem to love the fruity flavor and extra creamy foam! CYRUS (grumbling) Not me! Good ale shouldn’t taste like pomegranates! Hey…I heard about those two guys! There better not be any of that banned synthetic aphrodisiac, Shamizar, in here! BUDNER Heavens, no! Only natural aphrodisiacs, I assure you! Fred and Harry learned their lesson after that unfortunate incident in PaxLair two years ago… (After Keldon finishes his musical number, he steps down from the table and BOWS to the audience, then turns around and BOWS to Budner, Cyrus, and Chastity. Budner stands up and TOASTS Keldon, while CYRUS stands and CLAPS. Chastity stands up, WHISTLES and CHEERS. Keldon walks over to Chastity.) KELDON (charming) Are you new in town, miss? I never forget a pretty face… (Keldon FLEXES.) NARRATOR Chastity blushes as she gazes at his glistening abs and pecs. CHASTITY (flustered) This is my first time in the Tavern. I’m Chastity, the new school teacher. Just moved here from Wizards Rest yesterday… KELDON (charming) I’m Keldon, Master Ranger of the Bear Tavern Guild. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Chastity. I would be most honored to give you a private tour of our fine establishment…including our secret Red Room… CHASTITY (confused) Red Room? KELDON (whispering seductively in her ear) There can be no pleasure without pain… CHASTITY (lustfully) Ooh… I think I would enjoy a private tour very much… (KELDON and CHASTITY exit stage left as BUDNER gives KELDON a THUMBS UP!) BUDNER Looks like Keldon is getting lucky tonight! CYRUS (grumbling) I honestly don’t know what all those beautiful women see in him. He’s not THAT handsome or muscular! Must be his charming demeanor… (Budner and Cyrus exit stage center) *************************************************************************************** SCENE II (Tarin, Astor and Aimend enter from stage right) (Tarin Merrywhistle, Astor Cerberus, and Aimend are seated at the table.) (Insert music track # 3 – “Underhanded Conspiracy” by Amber Raine. Loop as needed.) NARRATOR Meanwhile, upstairs in the Tavern Council meeting room… ASTOR (hesitant) I don’t know, guys. Vallas has done a lot for the guild… TARIN (insistent) We have no choice, Astor! The force field generated by our moon towers can’t withstand a sustained bombardment by Nefario’s new Dragonfire cannons and his army outnumbers our militia by a factor of 10 to 1! Quite frankly, I don’t know even know how he managed to resurrect himself after we defeated him a year ago. Somehow, he has been able to amass enough resources to lay siege to so many towns simultaneously. I’ve heard rumors that he has been able to swell his ranks by using a combination of magic and science he acquired from Atos’ identical twin brother, the rogue technomage, Kriz, to either clone troops or abduct and brainwash large numbers of unsuspecting Novians. AIMEND Be reasonable, Astor! If we don’t accept Nefario’s terms, Beran’s Reach will surely be destroyed! All of the other Tavern Council members have voted to accept the agreement. We all appreciate everything that Vallas has done for us, but the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…or of the one! ASTOR (resigned) Very well, Tarin and Aimend, but I still don’t like this one bit. Vallas deserves better… TARIN Good man, Astor! (Tarin gives Astor the THUMBS UP sign.) AIMEND Come, I will show you the document you must sign! (Aimend. Tarin and Astor exit stage right.) ************************************************************************************** SCENE III (Vodalion enters from stage right and is seated at the table.) NARRATOR Vodalion is busy in the kitchen preparing a very special dish for Vallas. Visible among the many HUMAN bones in the waste bin is a gold ring inscribed with the initials “F.T”, indicating its previous owner, long missing Tavern Council member, Frederick Tareti. (MUSICAL NUMBER 2 – SUNG BY VODALION. Insert music track # 4 – “Won’t You Be My Neighbor” by Todd Reed Music) VODALION (singing merrily) It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood A beautiful meal of a neighbor Would you be mine? Could you be mine? It’s a neighborly day in this beautywood A neighborly day for a beauty Would you be mine? This cut is so fine I have always wanted to carve up a neighbor just like you I’ve always wanted to cook in a neighborhood with you So, let’s make the most of this beautiful day Since we’re together, I might as well say Would you be mine? For me to dine? Won’t you be my neighbor? Won’t you please Cease your pleas Please won’t you be my neighbor? Mmm…nom…nom…nom… (Melody enters from stage left and walks over to Vodalion.) MELODY Is that last dish almost done, Vodalion? VODALION I just sent out the fried liver and onions. Let me check on the Bear Surprise for Vallas… MELODY That smells so delicious, Vodalion! What’s your secret? VODALION I simply boiled the meat to a slight undercook and then popped it in the oven to finish baking it in a candy coat made of sugar glaze. I hope Vallas likes it… MELODY I am sure that he will… (Very sexy voice) I know you have been working very hard preparing this feast today, my darling, but do save a bit of energy for later tonight… (Melody SIGHS.) I don’t know what I would have done without your comfort and support this past year since Frederick suddenly left me to spread the word of Chaos to the natives of the southern continent. He didn’t even have the courage to tell me to my face and left that letter on my bed instead… VODALION What an insensitive fellow! I would never abandon you like that! I love you SO much and look forward to our wedding day next month! …and don’t worry… I always have plenty of energy for you, my dear! (Melody and Vodalion KISS.) NARRATOR Vodalion leers at Melody’s voluptuous form as he hands her a tray and she turns to leave. He starts preparing the dessert at the table and fails to notice her pour a vial of poison on the Bear Surprise as she exits the kitchen. (Melody stops at stage left for a moment before exiting.) (Vodalion exits stage right) ************************************************************************************** SCENE IV (Vallas enters from stage center and is seated at the table. Melody enters from stage left and places a plate and a mug on the table.) MELODY I hope you enjoy Vodalion’s version of Bear Surprise and this mug of Fire Mountain ale! NARRATOR Vallas seems more interested in Melody than the meal as he gazes lustfully at her. VALLAS I am sure that I will…Melody! Mmm…this Bear Surprise is really delicious! Vodalion has really outdone himself this time! (Melody SMILES and NODS her head and then exits stage left.) (Tarin Merrywhistle, Keldon Lighthand, Aimend, and Astor Cerberus enter from stage right and form a semicircle behind him.) (Insert music track # 6 – “Betrayal“ by Amber Raine. Loop as needed.) VALLAS Ah…just the people I was looking for! Fine job you’ve done with this event, mates! An impressive turnout, although I am a bit disappointed that Beran was unable to join us again this year. We still don’t know which one of us is his descendant and heir to his huge cache of gold and rare artifacts. Hope you’ve all been having a jolly good time! TARIN Indeed we are, Vallas! You wanted to discuss something with us? VALLAS Yes, Tarin. I have become quite concerned with the recent sieges on the surrounding towns by the Obsidian Cabablist, Nefario. We must make sure our defenses are strong enough to repel any such attack on Berans Reach! AIMEND Oh…I don’t think we will have to worry about that, Vallas… VALLAS (curious) Why is that, Aimend? (Vallas suddenly gets up and staggers forward in front of the table.) VALLAS Oh…I suddenly don’t feel so well. Dizzy, nauseous, and my limbs feel like rubber…Stay back, I think I am going to chunder! (Vallas suddenly PUKES on the stage floor.) KELDON (mocking) Must be that extra something that Vodalion put in your entrée…Guess I better go find my mop and clean up this mess! (Keldon NODS to Tarin and then LAUGHS.) VALLAS (confused) Eh, what’s so funny, Keldon? TARIN (serious) The Tavern Council recently negotiated a mutually beneficial agreement with the Obsidian Cabalist Nefario, but one of the conditions was a change in leadership… VALLAS (shocked and angry) What?! How could all of you betray me like this?! KELDON (gleefully) Die, Vallas, die! (Keldon enters combat mode, draws his dagger, stabs Vallas and then LAUGHS. Aimend and Tarin also enter combat mode, draw their daggers, and take turns stabbing Vallas.) (Insert music track # 7 – “Death of a King” by Amber Raine. Loop as needed.) VALLAS (gasping for breath, and sounding very disappointed) Astor…I trusted you the most… (Astor CRIES.) ASTOR I am sorry…Vallas…but the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one! (Astor enters combat mode, draws his dagger, and stabs Vallas.) TARIN Berans Reach and the Bear Tavern Guild must survive at all costs! Our NEW guild leader has seen to that… VALLAS (weakly, due to blood loss from the numerous stab wounds) …and who would that be? KELDON (gleefully) That would be ME! I personally negotiated the terms of the agreement on behalf of the Tavern Council with Nefario’s emissary…and here he is! (Budner enters from stage right, wearing an Obsidian robe and boots!) VALLAS (shocked) Nefario’s emissary is Budner?! Bloody hell! BUDNER (gloating) That’s High Priest Budner to you, Vallas! Yes, my master will be quite pleased with the terms of the agreement and looks forward to a long and profitable relationship with the Bears! VALLAS (coughing up blood) You will all regret making this dodgy deal with Nefario! He can’t be trusted! BUDNER (sneering) That is none of your concern, Vallas! Your time is at an end! VALLAS (defiantly, with his last breath) Sod off… (Vallas PLAYS DEAD.) (Astor exits stage center.) ************************************************************************ SCENE V (Vodalion enters from stage right. Aimend, Tarin, Vodalion, Keldon, and Budner surround Vallas’ body, which is lying at stage center in front of the table.) (Insert music track # 8 – “Dream Walking Nightmare Remix” by Ambrew) NARRATOR Several hours later… The Bears’ fourth anniversary party has ended and all of the guests have departed. (Vallas gets up from the floor.) (Aimend SLAPS Vallas.) AIMEND It’s about time you woke up, Vallas! What kind of example are you setting for your men? VALLAS (disorientated) Ow! That really hurt! I have a splitting headache… KELDON (mocking) Geez…Vallas, you were so rat-arsed that you passed out halfway through the anniversary party and were drooling all over the floor! The party would have all gone to pot if Astor hadn’t stepped up and taken over! Hmm…you know, Astor has been in the outhouse for an awfully long time. He said something in the Bear Surprise seemed to disagree with him… (From offstage, Astor can be heard GROANING LOUDLY in pain!) VALLAS (relieved) Thank heavens… it was just a nightmare! A horrible nightmare! AIMEND (curious) Oh? What was your nightmare about, Vallas? VALLAS (happy) I’ll tell you guys another time, but for now, another round of Fire Mountain ale for me and my friends, Melody! AIMEND (confused) Who is Melody? Vallas, you know we haven’t had a barmaid since Mindy quit six months ago to take that job at the Evil Eye Tavern in Rifts End. We haven’t had any applicants since then due to Budner and Keldon’s roving hands… BUDNER AND KELDON (in unison) Hey! That’s not true! We always treat women who come into the tavern with the utmost respect… AIMEND (sarcastic) Yeah…right! VALLAS (disappointed) What…Melody wasn’t real?! But she was so beautiful… (Vallas SIGHS.) (angry) You two, stop scaring away prospective barmaids! BUDNER AND KELDON (in unison) Sure thing, Vallas! We promise to be on our best behavior from now on! NARRATOR No one notices that both Budner and Keldon have their fingers crossed behind their backs. (Amber Raine enters from stage left.) AMBER RAINE Oh my! It seems that I missed out on all of the festivities… VALLAS Amber, so glad that you could make it! Here, have a mug of Fire Mountain Ale! AMBER RAINE Thank you, Vallas! Sorry I am so late, but I just returned from an expedition to the uncharted southern continent in search of a lost Bear. No, I am not referring to our directionally challenged Bear Cub either! VALLAS (sighing) If youré wondering where he is, apparently, he got lost in the Serpent’s Spine Mine again and used up all of his Teleport and Recall scrolls! At least he had enough sense to bring along his Noble’s Magical Discourse Orb! Efxtive and Fantalio are out searching for him now… (Amber Raine LAUGHS.) AMBER RAINE Took us a couple of weeks, but we finally found him… NARRATOR A bearded and disheveled Frederick Tareti walks into the Tavern. (Frederick Tareti enters from stage left.) FREDERICK Hi, guys! Long time, no see… VALLAS, AIMEND, TARIN, VODALION, KELDON, AND BUDNER (excited) Frederick! (Frederick walks to stage center and everyone surrounds him.) VALLAS What happened to you, man? You’ve been gone for nearly a year… We thought you had perished! (Insert music track # 9 – “Golden Dreams” by Amber Raine) FREDERICK I nearly did, Vallas! The first natives I came across in my travels turned out to be a lost tribe of Kaitoth cannibals who were worshipping a statue of their missing king, which looked a lot like Dinsoo! They believed that their king would return one day to lead them back to their ancestral homeland, which is now occupied by PaxLair They thought I would make a tasty meal, so I made a hasty retreat to the nearby river. I managed to avoid getting hit by their arrows, but ended up going over a waterfall and got knocked unconscious. I washed up ashore a few miles downstream and was found by a fearsome, but beautiful, female warrior who nursed me back to health. Unfortunately, once I was fully healed, her Queen would not let me leave their jungle village. Their tribe needed me as breeding stock, as all of their men had succumbed to some unknown disease a few years before. KELDON Frederick, you lucky dog! I am so jealous! AIMEND (mocking) Why am I not surprised? Please continue, Frederick… FREDERICK I was so exhausted by having to “perform” eight hours a day in addition to the eight hours a day I spent cooking, cleaning, and gardening while the women were out hunting. I don’t think I would have lasted much longer! Fortunately, that was when Amber and her group found me. She asked their queen, a raven haired beauty named Shadrai, to release me into her custody, but she refused, as all of the children I had sired up to that point were female… AIMEND (curious) So how did Amber secure your release? AMBER RAINE I challenged Shadrai to mortal combat, with Frederick as the prize! After a long and fierce battle, I emerged triumphant, but opted to spare her life. Shadrai seemed fascinated with my teachings, so I gave her a copy of the Parma and two of my male acolytes volunteered to remain behind in Frederick’s stead. So you see, Brother Frederick was able to bring in some new converts to the Church of the Dark Star, although not in the way he intended… FREDERICK Indeed, Amber! However, I think I will leave the missionary work to our more experienced members from now on! AMBER RAINE Quite understandable considering the ordeal you’ve been through! Don’t worry, Brother Frederick, there are plenty of people here in Novia for you to convert! FREDERICK Well, there is one good thing that resulted from my ordeal. May I present my lovely new bride, Melody! (Melody enters from stage left. She is wearing leather armor.) MELODY Hello! It is so nice to meet all of Frederick’s friends! He has spoken highly about all of you. NARRATOR Both Vallas and Vodalion gaze lustfully at Melody but quickly regain their composure before anyone notices. VALLAS As governor of Beran’s Reach, let me officially welcome you to our fine community, Melody! MELODY Thank you, Governor Vallas! VODALION Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Vodalion, head cook here at the Bear Tavern… (Vodalion and Melody SHAKE HANDS.) MELODY Have we met before? You look VERY familiar… VODALION (flustered) I…don’t see how. I have never been to the southern continent… MELODY Hmm… (Melody PONDERS.) (All the Bears onstage line up at stage center.) VALLAS, AIMEND, TARIN, VODALION, KELDON, BUDNER, FREDERICK, MELODY, AND AMBER (in unison) For Honor! For Glory! For Beer! (Everyone TOASTS.) AIMEND The three of you must be starving after your long trip! Come, have a seat at the table. Vodalion, do we have any hot entrees left? VODALION I’ll check on that… (Vodalion exits stage right as Amber, Frederick, and Melody sit down at the table at stage left. Vallas and Tarin stand in front of the table and continue chatting with them, while Keldon and Budner walk to stage right.) (Cyrus enters from stage left and stands at the edge of the stage.) CYRUS When last I was here, I did promise to check in from time to time to see how things were going. Vallas, you should have realized that the dream I sent you was a warning! The gods have forbidden me from taking a more direct role in the coming Shadow War. Now I sense that the future of both the Bear Tavern Guild and Beran’s Reach is shrouded in darkness… (Cyrus SIGHS.) NARRATOR Cyrus suddenly shapeshifts into his true form – that of the demigod, Beran! (Cyrus turns around and exits stage left.) (Insert music track # 11 – “Whispers” by Amber Raine) (Keldon BOWS to Budner and hands him a piece of paper.) KELDON (whispering) As requested, here is the agreement signed by all members of the Tavern Council in their own blood. BUDNER (whispering) Excellent work, Keldon, I knew I could count on you…and what about Vallas? KELDON (whispering) Don’t worry, High Priest Budner, I will make sure that he does not live through the night! He should not have underestimated me or treated me so poorly! Keldon, mop up this mess! Keldon, you pillock, you’ve burned my trousers again! Well, no more! Come dawn, I will lead the Bear Tavern Guild! BUDNER (whispering) That you will, my good friend! (Budner LAUGHS and NODS to Keldon as they both exit stage right.) NARRATOR (pleased) Excellent! Despite Beran’s interference, everything is still going according to plan! The Bears have welcomed my daughter, Melody, with open arms. Until I can amass sufficient mystical energy to power the cloning chamber which I received from Kriz, my spirit remains trapped in the body of this wandering female healer who stumbled upon my burnt and defiled remains! Soon I shall have my revenge on the Bears for destroying my physical form and preventing my resurrection! So swears… Nefario! (Narrator SHAKES HER FIST) (Narrator laughs maniacally) THE END *************************************************************************************** (During credits all cast line up at the front of the stage) (Insert music track # 12 – “RPG Never Go Full Bard”) Music Credits The following music tracks are used in this production with the permission of the composer, Amber Raine: “Epic Entrance” “Underhanded Conspiracy” “Betrayal“ “Death of a King“ “Dream Walking Nightmare Remix” (as “Ambrew”, in collaboration with Andrew Head) “Golden Dreams” “Whispers” The following music tracks used in this production are licensed under either Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 or 4.0 Unported or Creative Commons 0 (Public Domain) (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/) (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) (https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/) “Won’t You Be My Neighbor” by Todd Reed Music The following can be found at www.opengameart.org “RPG Never Go Full Bard” by Hitctrl The End (All Bow to audience)

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